What A Year!

Hi guys!! So we're going into the new year and I thought this would be the best post for some self reflection. I'm going to keep it short, I mean this year has been amazing, wonderful, stressful, tiring and wonderfully amazing. It's been unexpected and I can say with all sincerity that I never expected my year to turn out the way it did.

I may not have had the obvious loud achievements that the world acknowledges, but this year has truly been a great one for me.

So what's happened this year?

1. This blog: This blog has truly been life changing for me. It wasn't even something I'd planned coming into this year. I'd never considered starting a blog, but the way God placed it in my heart and brought it to fruition is amazing. God knows all my ticks and has used them so many times to get me to where He wants me. God used my experiences, desires and heart to lead me here, and I'll forever be grateful for it. Because I truly believe that this blog is making an impact and stirring hearts or just comforting hearts. So yeah, this is a huge part of my 2022.

2. Refining: In 2020, I came across this song "refiner" by Chandler Moore and Steffany Gretzinger. I worshipped and prayed with that song constantly. Little did I know that God was answering the desires of my heart. I have seen God work on me and refine me in this year. Before I used to battle the "big and obvious" sins, but this year, God really worked on and in me. He's spoken to me intimately so many times this year, than He's ever done before. I'm so grateful for the times that he taught me and showed me when I was wrong. He'd tell me that I might feel justified, but there were better ways of doing things. God has worked on me this year and he continues to do so. Guys, I'm not going to lie to you, this is the biggest highlight of my year 2021. Having God speak to me and teach me, lead me direct me, has been so amazing.

3. The podcast: Towards the end of 2019 and at the beginning of 2020, I started contemplating starting a podcast. It's what I'd actually planned to do before I started this blog. I bought the microphone and tested it, but I didn't start it. But in this year, I started a podcast Real with ME with my friend May. The aim of this podcast for me, is to bring laughter into people's hearts. I have this blog which I believe teaches and speaks on deep things and sometimes light things, but it doesn't always bring laughter because not everything can be, or should be turned into a joke. But for me, the podcast is a way of playing around, while speaking about things that affect people's lives in a way that doesn't leave your heart feeling burdened. I believe we're achieving that. And while like everything we're still learning and being refined, I believe that God led me to it.

4. Confidence: Guys! My confidence has definitely grown this year. I've seen it change and grow and 2019 and 2020 me would be amazed at the 2021 me. I'm different and it's all because of God. I still have a long way to go with confidence. I need to be a lot more confident than I am now, but I've changed. I'm not the same woman I used to be. Don't get me wrong, I still get insecure moments and times when I feel either unattractive, or not enough, or times when I feel like a bother. But those times are coming less and less and I feel better equipped to handle them now. So for that God I say thank you. It's genuinely God that's helped me. I prayed that God would help me be confident and He's doing that for me.

5. Faith: God has really been teaching me about faith this year. Especially through my job. He has taught me that faith is deeper than believing that God will answer my prayer. Instead, faith is trusting absolutely and completely in God even if your prayer isn't answered. Knowing that whatever is happening is in the hands of God and finding peace within that. There were months when I prayed that God would help me hit a certain target or get a certain thing. But I wouldn't get what I asked for. But God taught me and reminded me that since I've submitted my life to Him, He's got me in His hands. He knows exactly what He is doing and He has always known. It's in those moments of disappointment that I learnt true trust and faith in God. The peace that I feel from knowing that I'm in God's hands can never be traded for an insurmountable amount of gold. God, I am truly grateful to You.

Year 2021 has been an eye opening year and I'm definitely still learning. There's still a lot of refining to be done in me. I have so much to learn and a long way to go. I am definitely not perfect, but I'm grateful for the journey path that God has placed me on. Most importantly, I'm grateful for the fact that God has stayed with me at each step and point of the way. I really couldn't have done it without God.

So, 2022 is a new year for us all and a continuation of the journey and work that God has started in me and in you. If you're like me and you didn't get any of the "massive" achievements that the world recognises. Or if you feel like there wasn't much of an achievement in 2022, look inward and think deeply, you'll see that there's so much to be grateful for. Don't let social media or people fool you into thinking that 2021 was a wasted year for you. If you really search within, you'll see that there's been a change.

If you can't see that change, then pray for the year ahead. Like I said, my prayer in 2020 came to pass in 2021. The same can happen for you. Ask God to work within you and order your steps. Contrary to what people think, the worldly achievements don't carry as much weight in the long term. But the inner growth and achievements are long lasting. So ask God in this year for what you want in the new year. I promise you my God is a prayer answering God. He makes everything work in your favour. My earlier disappointments led to greater joy down the line.

Bet your life on God and see what He does for you in this new year. It will shock you. This is a promise I make, at the end of it all, God never leaves, He never abandons and He always pulls through. He is a God of His Word. If He says it, He will do it.

So as 2022 comes, I'm excited for the new lessons we'll learn together. I'm excited for the refining and the growth. I'm excited for the answered prayers to come!!!

As always, I love you and God most definitely loves you <3

Love

Esther xoxo

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!